Первое посещение детского сада становится стрессом и для ребенка, и для родителей. Период привыкания к новой обстановке и адаптации в детском коллективе редко проходит спокойно и гладко: малыш паникует и истерит, мама нервничает и беспокоится. Как поступить родителям, если ребенок категорически отказывается ходить в садик? Как сгладить острую ситуацию?
Ребенок не хочет идти в детский сад: самые частые причины
Приспособиться к новой обстановке непросто как взрослому, так и ребенку. Поэтому родителям необходимо заранее подготовиться к возможным эксцессам: утренним истерикам, беспричинным слезам, недомоганиям. Это совсем не означает, что малыш нервный, излишне ранимый или капризный. Даже самому общительному и активному трехлетке понадобится 2-3 недели, чтобы привыкнуть к воспитателю и сверстникам. Но если ребенок и после нескольких месяцев посещения детского сада отказывается оставаться в группе, нужно выяснить, почему он так себя ведет.
Распространенные причины нежелания идти в детский сад: ребенок психологически не готов сменить домашнюю обстановку на более строгий режим детского учреждения. Чаще всего это справедливо для детей до 3-х лет или малышей с ослабленным здоровьем и психикой. Такие воспитанники тяжело переживают смену устоявшегося образа жизни, медленно привыкают к новым людям. Особенно сложно происходит адаптация к новым правилам поведения в коллективе, да и разлуку с мамой такие дети переживают болезненно; отсутствие контакта с воспитателем.
Если ребенок и воспитатель не нашли общий язык, то проблемы с посещением садика не прекратятся очень долго. Некоторые воспитатели слишком строги с детьми, запугивают и постоянно кричат. Из-за этого может пострадать психика даже шустрого и позитивно настроенного детсадовца. Тихоня же станет еще более пассивным и подавленным; плохие отношения со сверстниками. Ребенок не может найти свое место в коллективе, не умеет общаться и налаживать контакт с другими детьми.
Он предпочитает держаться особняком и не участвовать в общих играх. В некоторых случаях это симптомы психических аномалий (задержка развития, аутичные расстройства), но чаще малыша не учили дружить и общаться со сверстниками; негативный образ детского садика, который формируется в семье.
Родители, а особенно бабушки, могут, сами того не желая, напугать ребенка. Если постоянно повторять, что воспитатель не будет церемониться с ребенком, а будет только наказывать и ставить в угол, то малыш будет считать садик ужасным местом. Негативная установка, как правило, быстро закрепляется, и вот уже сформирована реакция отторжения.
Как помочь ребенку
Психика ребенка 3-4 лет не слишком устойчива, поэтому нельзя предъявлять к нему строгих требований («Возьми себя в руки!», «Сейчас же перестань плакать!»). Приучать малыша к новым людям и новым правилам нужно постепенно и без спешки, тогда процесс адаптации пройдет легче. В первые недели ребенка приводят в группу на время (до обеда и дневного сна).
После того, как он немного освоится, переходят на полный «рабочий» день. По дороге домой полезно обсудить, что случилось за день: как гуляли, играли, чему научились на занятиях. У ребенка необходимо сформировать положительное отношение к детскому саду. Нельзя в домашних разговорах обсуждать и осуждать воспитателей, негативно отзываться о других детях и их родителях.
Прерывать посещение сада во время адаптационного периода нежелательно. После 2-3 недель пропусков придется начинать все сначала, а ребенок поймет, что в садик ходить не обязательно.
Рекомендации психологов
Советы психологов пригодятся не только детям, но и родителям. Часто мама нервничает больше, чем ребенок и невольно «заражает» своим состоянием малыша.
Если мама спокойна, то и будущий детсадовец меньше паникует и плачет. Поэтому главная рекомендация психолога — соблюдать спокойствие и внушать ребенку положительное отношение к садику.
Есть и практические приемы, которые помогут ребенку легче привыкнуть к новым обстоятельствам: дома полезно играть с ребенком в «садик», одновременно закрепляя необходимые навыки общения и самообслуживания; можно рассказывать ребенку добрые и веселые случаи из собственного детства: так малыш не будет воспринимать детский сад как страшное и незнакомое место; в первые дни неизбежны слезы, драматичные расставания и истерики.
К подобным реакциям нужно быть готовым и не поддаваться на манипуляции. Нельзя идти на поводу у ребенка и вести его домой после сцен у дверей садика; прощание с ребенком нельзя затягивать, иначе слезы превратятся в нервный припадок; мама должна обязательно сказать, что вечером вернется. Малыш не должен думать, что его бросают навсегда.
Как правило, острый адаптационный период при соблюдении всех рекомендаций не затягивается. Спустя месяц-полтора ребенок с удовольствием идет в детский сад, активно общается со сверстниками и воспитателем.
Если события разворачиваются по негативному сценарию, необходимо выяснить причины и помочь ребенку освоиться в коллективе. В некоторых случаях полезно обратиться к психологу или сменить детское учреждение.
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Это серьезная проблема, и в идеале ее хорошо бы решить еще до поступления ребенка в детский сад. Не зря же психологи рекомендуют перед тем, как определить малыша в то или иное учреждение, обязательно познакомиться не только с заведующей и с набором игрушек в группе, но и (что гораздо важнее!) с будущей воспитательницей. Именно она будет проводить с вашим ребенком большую часть времени. Иногда бывает так, что к одной воспитательнице дети буквально летят на всех парах, а к другой даже подходить не хотят, жмутся к маме. Для начала выясните, почему ваш малыш не любит воспитательницу. Сделать это не так-то легко, ведь далеко не всегда маленький ребенок может рассказать о своих впечатлениях и переживаниях. Но вам придут на помощь специальные игры. Вечером, в спокойной обстановке поиграйте с малышом в детский сад с набором плюшевых зверушек или пластмассовых человечков. Вы узнаете для себя массу интересных подробностей! Пусть ребенок сам выберет для себя роль – будет ли он играть за себя самого, за своего «одногруппника» или за ту самую воспитательницу.
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